I just read where a tremendous underground explosion has leveled from Kralendijk to Hato, any truth to that?

Geode

I hear there was only one virtual (that can't be right) survivor - someone wearing looney pants and carrying a spade along with several bags of dog crap.

Brian

Dave I just heard that there is P**P everywhere and that the environmental clean-up crews from the east side of the island, are using the side slung Mk2 Grimshaw & Etheridge Revolving Shovel and making headway in the cleanup..Have you heard anymore??

Freddie, how nice to see you in the daylight. could someone post a pic of the cleanup?

ahhhh much better.... Dave I barely recognized you.

I'm working on getting the connection to the media stations on Bonaire fixed up at the moment..
As soon as I can I will post the post-P**P pic..

I wish I could Dave, but as you can see, the big crater in Kralendijk from the so-called explosion has destroyed my internet connection, so this message had to be posted telepathetically (spelling intentional) - that's hard work incidentally. Haven't figured out how to post pictures using this type of connection yet.

Mind you, I understand the hole under the town is so large and deep that water levels all over the Caribbean are dropping rapidly. Word has it that Cayman's stingrays are all flapping in the breeze, and stingray rescue units have been called forth to assist them.

Local (loco?) scientists are predicting that this will utimately cause a flood in the Indo-Pacific area (which is apparently where all the Caribbean water is flowing to), and while this should result in amazing new coral growth due to clean water washing into the poluted Indo-Pacific waters, the additional weight of all that water on just one side of the world will cause the earth to wobble on its axis, resulting in horrible weather - the so called "new coral winter"...

Jake

PS I think I'll be moving this to Community Chat... ;-)

picture of the cleanup ???

Busted. Worse then the German Guards finding the tunnel under Stalag 17.

Much worse.

vort, i told you i saw gold nuggets! they have washed up along with everything else, either that or they have been flooded out of venezuela...oil perhaps and not gold? or maybe i have been knocked upside the head from the explosion and am seeing stars...

You all are too much. Do you actually have jobs?

Yes they do, but they have not told thei bosses they have quit the job...

Cecil, keep on diging, You've got a few months before you are expected on the island....

well, i admit the cleanup pic was lame. but when entering "cleaning up "store high in transit""
into the google search engine - it was all i got

so, back to the cardio-glide...spongebob needs to insure his shoulders continue to be up to the task

and an extra

Hey, there's hope for my Joe to become employed on Bonaire yet....he is an Operator at a Waste Water treatment plant in NJ and it sure does sound like they will need some help with the "situation" down there, now! Aha! I knew if we were patient we would be able to line him up with work on Bonaire...we thought it might have to wait until the new plant was ready to be started up on the island, but this definitely changes things. Carole

PS Someone has to do it! LOL.

You people are going about this all wrong. You're looking down and you should be looking up. Fortunes of leaving a rock hound in charge. Think balistic, I've got a load of old Este's rocket motors in the garage. You want to get over to Everything Else, fire off enough of these puppies and at least pieces of you will be there.

This might also solve my virginity problem. Put a load under a lounge chair and light the fuse. All I need is the GPS coordinates to plug into the internal navigation system. Twenty minutes later I could be on the web cam, assuming the parachute works, if not make it 16 minutes. Alot more fun then JATO engines on an Implala (piece of junk).

This would also turn-on up every radar on the East coast, don't worry they'll figure out a way to blame the Iraq's.

Exactly how big was that charge chief.

UN Recon photo

ah, blue hole Belize, no? Nice Travertine(uh, that's dripstone, Cecil) formations starting at 140 and ending at 180', never could see the bottom tho.(kinda like "CC") a world class idiotic dive, that I've done numerious times.

Estes rocket engines...man..I set half the hood on fire with those things!!! (not when I was a kid, just yesterday!)

oh and Cecil, want to loose that virginity, send for my book, "how to score big with beautiful women with just a handfull of snakes and a Gator or two" acme press 1972

Oh my gosh!!! I got home from work and was hit by this telepathetic message that must have been sent to me from Jake! Nothing like this has ever happened to me before! I just visualized this great hole with tons of p""p...that the locals and visitors have been busy shoveling into bags! In the process they have stumbled on a bent shovel... a shard of multicolor fabric..and one blue sock....Have all the diggers been found!?

OK, I can't stand it anymore. What the heck are y'all talking about?

Peggy

Peggy,

They don't know. Have you heard of "cabin fever"?

Been a cold, cruel winter!!!




Bill

Bill, more like a mosquito born illness in my case.

Peggy, this is a continuation of a very important thread currently buried in Community Chat which may soon be placed in "Local Items" as it is most germane to that topic. Interestingly enough, this thread was started in "Everything Else Bonaire" was lost (as in vanished) for hours and was mysteriously found back in "here".

Dave

It wasn't lost - it just hadn't been resorted into chronological order properly...

Jake

Well Dave I see you have thrown me to the wayside for Sarah and Kelly.....I understand...being at the head of this expedition it is quite natural to turn to the people at hand.....
Thank gosh Andy has not abandoned me! Andy the rear of this group is starting to strip down for the narrow crawl...you first please....and try to focus on your crawling techniques ...Remember we are pulling up "the rear" and don't need any further distractions till we hit the surface.....
Yes my scar is also itchy,,,,I hope this bare crawl does not irritate it.....Knowing all those p''p filled bags lay up ahead...we still have alot of physical work ahead of us....save your strength...what are you ancoring your shovel to?
We must have been here for days cause the pages are starting to look small and constricted also!

One small question for all the diggers: Do you think you'll have Kralendijk rebuild before may 28-th?? Otherwise we'll have to look for another place to get married...

Martin: You have nothing to fear, for I, personally, will be certain the town is back together by the morning of May 24th, the latest! That's when Joe and I arrive....everything is "under control" on this end. Must be up and running for the "peek/peak season" on Bonaire, ya know! Have faith in those who are in charge of the "charge"....hey, time is getting closer for us now, isn't it?! Yay! Your nuptials are closing in, too.......a wedding on Bonaire sounds sooo wonderful! Carole

Thank you Carol, You saved my day!!

well well well, looks like some of them made it out!

You are right Cynde and it looks as if the Mk2 Grimshaw & Etheridge Revolving Shovel made it out too.. Meryl must have been last coming out of the hole..She seems rather short...And is that Clint hiding from the camera???

Freddie...I was last getting out...Whatever Andy had his shovel dangleing from kept hitting me in the head on the way up.....
Hey! I don't think we ever made it back to Everything else.....

I think Everything Else was destroyed in the blast....

Looks as if Andy may be setting up to bop Kelly with his trusty shovel..

yeah meryl, looks like you are only half out gal...get outta there! i think that keely is getting ready to bop her on her bum!

Personally I am glad they all dressed before the picture was taken!!! But I do wish we could see those blue socks and sandals, Andy!

Finally, we can lay down our shovels, sit on our &^^%^ and light up a Camel!

I was wondering what happened to my shovel, it was absconded. I got a poor performance review for slacking on the muck clean up, now I know why, no shovel. My future in muck chucking has been upchucked. WHAT WILL I DO! No profession no future. Anyone heard if we will be getting a payout for the screen rights? I have feeling they will be needed shortly.

Please Andy, please don't hit me with the shovel! I thought I was grabbing the shovel on the way out, I had no way of knowing that was no shovel! Please I humbly beseech your forgiveness...

And Sarah, let us not forget about the Brights. Can't have a Camel without a Bright.

2 Brights and an extra long Camel for me and my friend Kelly here, please!

Cheers!

Where did the camels come from? Is there going to be a ferel camel problem now?

Well, I finally found my but the lamp is starting to fade. My shovel still has yet to be returned and the "thief" com link seems to be out of commission. My is showing some aftershock activity and another canary has bit the dust.

I think the Camels are what's killing the Canary's....But the Brights seem to revive them, if administered asap....

For those of you that are afraid to go to the still uncharted depths of the 'Thief' thread here is a missing persons update

Latest count after the explosion of the subtertanian super, duper, p**per tank and the subsequent following distruction of Kralindijk..

1 cheerleader- missing presumed dead
3 polyannas -missing presumed dead
1 randypolly- missing presumed dead
1 Bikertender subbing as a Harleyanna- wounded presumed blond currently posing in prision guard garb
2 bums(with sponge bob maybe being a closet cheerleader too)-last seen at a local shelter
1 Moosekateer sporting horns
1 rabble rouser- missing presumed dead
2 corpses- still dead
1 dutchies- missing presumed dead
1 sponge- damaged with extra holes
1 pollyrealisticanna- serious not accepting reality
2 polly wanna dolphin- missing presumed shark fodder
1 beachbumwannabe turned muck crew chief turned governmental whistle blower-last seen buried knee deep in s**t
1 drunk cat- Just joined AA. 5 days sober.
1 superimposed shark doubling for Godzilla- Bombed as Jack Russell terrior in Superbowl Halftime beer commercial. Has checked into Betty Ford center suffering from depression and seal addiction.
1 corset stay lecturer in camouflaged pants-Forming new Punk Rock group the Holly Gees
several clones with no clue- still clueless after all these years
1 virgin polyanna-last seen placing ads in national Singles thread. Has gotten response from Eastern Europe. Planning on flying to Somethingistan for a personal check out cruise
1 Ultrasonographer wanting uppers- after flying high for 4 days crashed like the Challenger.
1 Ultimate Leader- escaped assembling legions of lost & homeless personalities
2 brew beaters- bombed
3 1/2 dead canaries- 2 1/2 gassed, 1 Gollum fodder, all still very dead.
1 severely cybershot Super Sized Septic-shredded
1 Lurking Gollum licking leftover canary liver
1 sheep midwife- languishing for lambing
1 GoC currently on fluff dry
1 Snared & skinned Grendle served with sauce
1 Badlands Mountain woman modeling Grendle skin
500 Simultaneously showing semishorn sheep
1 Rock banger turned flock haranger
2 Laughing snorkelers having flashbacks
1 vort- escaped!
and miles and miles of muck

clint, you have way too much time on your hands, but then so do i, here is your harleypolly, proof she is still alive, vort, meryl (don't remember what polly type she was...and what was keely again?

What has happened to the Moosekateer's horns, or has she already lost them? I have used my Super Duper Acme Bitelevisioaugmenters to scan the whole scene and I do not see a single Grendle skinned Hoo, or even you!

Clint, a wily dog once told me that those Acme products never seem to work.

I suggest that you try the new Spishak pixel-popper enhancement goggles! If your mom ever shook her finger at you for sitting too close to the T.V. set, let Spishak be the solution - you'll never miss a pixel of the on-screen action again.

The secret is in the amazing patented Spishak cathode-ray concertrating telescopic refractor lenses. Peering into the haze of your TV or computer monitor for valuable details using the pixel-poppers is like having a 6 inch 400x telescope glued to your eyeballs while you are staring at the sun looking for intelligent life in the form of solar-babies.

Warning: 90 minute warranty only valid if used with 3" thick combination lens cover and glare shield (sold separately). Do not place product against unprotected skin and point at any TV, monitor or celestial body, as sever burns may result from concentrated radiation. In the event that blindness occurs during use, product may fail to provide desired results. Do not use if pregnant, as unborn children may be blinded.

ok, here is an update picture i just received from a co-vort...as you can see, i'm not afraid of heights...

I have hardly ever had a problem with my Acme products in the past. When I did it was user error. These new Spishak pixel-popper enhancement goggles sure are something! When used with the cave mushrooms one can see so CLEARLY. Things that were not obvious in the past are RIGHT THERE and the COLORS are so vivid! Makes me want to go see Donny in "Technicolor Dream Coat" again! I wonder if they work like blacklites on fish?
Cynde DON'T jump! Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were going to Bungee the abyss. Hope you have a hi-performance, super highvelocity retractor wench to bring you back up. Hey, maybe you can send us some supplies?

clint, i'm on my way, just checking the bungee cord now...i just figured out where that foul smell is coming from...keely's wet sheep! (i hand't noticed them below me until i turned around)...

I've got explosives set to collapse the "thief" thread at 400, you may want to take cover!

It showed us what depths one could reach with the right mindset, equipment, support team and practice. Many chatters were lost as the thread got deeper and deeper. They will not be and can not be forgotten.
Because of their unselfish sacrifice, dangerous uncharted tunnels have been mapped. Many new and exciting discoveries made. Fantastic new technology developed and used to create such wonderful items like the Spishak pixel-popper enhancement goggles. Exciting new ways of looking the world are now accepted as fact. Long lost anchors have been located. Even a new and shorter way to China may have been found!
The cleanup, rebuilding of Kralendijk and Hato and research into uses for the biomass left from the SSCS regurgatation must also continue.

Well, that wasn't much of a noise, now, was it? Nearly everyone tried to play too safe...

Nice visual effects, though.
---
Uh, something's still moving down there (in the Thief thread).
Oh, it's you.
Nevermind.
---
Now taking predictions on what day the Thief thread reaches the mind-boggling depth of 538, at which point it will become the all-time undisputed depth champion of BT!
---
Scientists now report that SSCSR may replace spent enriched uranium nuclear fuel rods as the most long-lasting toxic substance known to man.

For those of you, to afraid of the dark, to journey to the depths of the 'thief thread" an update.
My copy of "Nation & World" was just delivered!There was a write-up of the latest explosion.



Nation & World
World News
Published Wednesday
February 5, 2003


Explosions rips subterranean depths of the 'Car Thief' thread.


KRALENDIJK,Netherlands Antilles (WN) - A powerful explosion tore through the depths of the 'Bonaire Talk' 'Car Thief' thread Tuesday, killing at least 40 people and trapping many others, relief workers said. The initial and subsequent secondary biothermal explosions that resounded throughout the island could be felt as far away as Willemstad on Curacao and were recorded on Seismographs as faraway as Kansas City, Missouri USA.

Police are investigating motives - including that the blast was part of a cover-up involving a local car theft plot. Looting and fights broke out as hundreds of angry cyber chatters armed with dog bones battled over plans to resolve the return of stolen property and the dispersal of effluence from a previously damage Super Sized Cyber Septic System (SSCSS).

In the chaos, trapped victims cried for rescue and onlookers wailed as rescuers retrieved bloody, broken bodies.

The Red Cross said searchers had recovered more than 30 dead and 32 injured. Ten of the wounded died later at Kralendijk General Hospital, hospital workers said.

Many more victims were believed caught in the rubble, and the death toll could rise, said Kelly Amsteltapper, president of the Antilles Red Cross.

The blast occurred at exactly 07:00 p.m. on the Netherlands Antilles Windward island of Bonaire, at the location of a Super Cyber Septic that had been destroyed two weeks earlier by similar virtual explosion. The previous explosion had left a hole under the town so large and deep that water levels all over the Caribbean had begun to drop rapidly.

The blast at the four acre Sanitary facility, brought three hundred feet of coral reef crashing down onto the sea floor and left large previously unknown subterranean caverns exposed. Fires flared extensively after the blast, which could be heard for miles and sent a tower of smoke into the sky.

Two adjoining reefs were heavily damaged, and buildings for miles around had shattered windows and other damage from the explosion.

Rescue personal said some victims had been thrown blocks away from the blast site.

"My sister was on the balcony of our condo talking with a friend, and the force of the explosion threw them both off," a local visitor Icuma Todive said. "They're both dead."

Resident Luc E. Dogga, who was helping carry the victims, said he saw 40 dead and as many injured. Local radio put the toll at 50 or more. The blast came as many were returning from afternoon dives, preventing an even higher death toll.

Bonaire is one of five islands that, make up the Netherlands Antilles, a Dutch dependency of 215 thousand. Odors from the SSCSS has sent many resident, businesses and tourists to other parts of island in recent years, helping keep the human toll from being greater.

Ok what happened...I go away for a day and it seems like some of the posts are missing? is it me?

Meryl, are you in the wrong thread?? Maybe you are thinking of the "Car thief caught" thread?? There are so many entries on both I cannot keep track of them at all. Doncha just love it! CArole

PS Getting ready for the big Nor'Easter that's on its way towards us?? What a winter.....

Nation & World
World News
Published Monday
February 17, 2003


Brilliant light flash in subterranean depths of the 'Car Thief' thread leads to stampede deaths.


KRALENDIJK,Netherlands Antilles (WN)- Hordes of paniced bone toting CC'ers stormed through the subcyber caverns under KRALENDIJK Fiday and Saturday, after Spider Man released a brilliant white light. One CC'er refered to the flash as "Gods fury".
The crazed CC'ers, blind with fright ran screaming from one dead end tunnel to another, trampeling any who had the misfortune of loosing their footing, killing at least 21 people and leaving many more injured, local authorities said.
"Everybody getting smashed; people crying, couldn't breathe," said CC'er Marcel Nahr. "Two ladies and a canary next to me died. A guy under me passed out. It is all my fault, I started the thread! Explosions, wars and now this. Always death! What have I done?"

Local rescue teams have been trying to get an accurate count of the number trapped in the caves. "It has been roumered that there were more than 1,500 people in the the area visiting when a four acre Super Sized Cyber Septic System suddenly exploded. That explosion and several subsequent ones including one that was set on Febuary 7 have kept us from getting an accurate count of victoms and survivors", Fire Commander Andy 'Fancypants" Sheepscolder said.

"It appears that a disturbance from within led to a mass chaos. Most of the fatalities appear to have been crushed or had injuries due to suffocation", said police Officer Carol Baker.

Baker said she knew of at least 14 people who were killed.

Michael Mouton, 56, of Chicago was looking for friends when she fell into the cybertrap on Saturday about 2pm. As she was making her way through the cybermess, she saw people inside the tunnels start to back up against the rock walls.

"You could see a mound of people. People were stacking on top of each other, screaming and gagging, I guess from fear and septic gas. The tunnels got blocked because there were just too many people and no one knowing where to go," she said.

"I saw them taking out a Hoo," Mouton said. "She was in bad shape. I saw at least 10 lifeless bodies."

Vort said the total number of injuries was unclear because many of those with minor injuries were being taken to hospitals by family and friends.

"There may be a bright side to the stampede", a visiting attourney Leif S from Texas interjected. "The melee may have prevented a huge cyber war that has been brewing since the last large explosion. Many more would have perished if Dave's plans of cyber domination had succeeded."

Thanks Carole...yes it was me...wrong thread....storm over pretty much for us in south Joisey...left with alot of snow...and now a flash flood watch at the beach....is it spring yet?

latest update..
Nation & World
World News
Published Thursday
February 20, 2003

KRALENDIJK,Netherlands Antilles (WN)- The work of rebuilding the Kralendijk Super Cyber Septic sewer sucker system that has been extensively damaged by numerous explosions, will be easier because of what didn't happen.
Piping for a 200,000 gallon sewage separator tank halted the plant's collapse along main building's west side, a contractor said. That kept the roof from falling to the ground, weakening - or even collapsing - the brick walls.
Since the side walls stood strong, the Saturday explosions and building collapses didn't affect the other half of the 4 acre sewage plant - which is made up of two long, narrow buildings - or the numerous settling tanks to the east. The system however is not expected to go back online for several months.
Even the building's classic facade and metal awning were untouched.
"The bright side is that from the outside, the character of the building will not be lost," said Harleyanna Lott, architect for the rebuilding project. "When we get done, you won't be able to tell they had this disaster."
In fact, a passer-by might not have immediately noticed the damage this week, if not for the blue sky visible when looking through the walls.
It was a different story inside the subcyber caverns under the site early Saturday, where the latest explosion occurred.
The caverns had collapsed along the west wall, which divides the site from the ocean. The cave walls were melted and remaining builds were creaking, said Jake Richer, president and chief operating officer of Richer Web Cams Inc and Coastal Diving and Casinos, the first contractor called in.
"It was scary," he said.
He worried the remaining buildings might collapse, possibly damaging the sensitive coral reef and local diving sites.
"It's a wonder the reef wasn't damaged any worse," Richter said. "It was an emergency deal to save the remaining structures on the site and the reef."
He called Andy Keely of Septic Seven demolition and diving club. They were quickly joined by representatives of Coastal Diving and Casinos, as well as Officer Carol Baker, the city's inspector for unsafe and dangerous buildings.
No one was allowed into the caverns until engineers devised a plan for shoring up the roof. Workers stayed until midnight to ensure the tunnels were stable.
By Wednesday, most of the debris and bodies had been removed, and the entrances shored up. A new series of trusses will be built using steel beams, covered with wood to retain the period look, Richer said.
The caves should be open in about four weeks, though Richer said it was too early to estimate the rebuilding cost.
"It's going to be a major building renovation," Richer said.
Jamie Seleh , the NETHERLANDS ANTILLES governor or any of his staff could be reached for comment.
Those involved in the repairs said the collapse after 3 major explosions couldn't have been predicted.
"Until you get a such a disaster, you don't know what's ready to go," Richer said. "You never know."
Baker, the city inspector, said, "We've had fires, hurricanes and other natural disasters over the last few years that caused damage. This is just a unique situation."

An understatement, indeed! Officer Baker reporting for duty...specializing in unsafe and dangerous building, if you please! I certainly hope we don't have to pass the costs of this fiasco on to the residents of Bonaire...that would just add insult to injury.

Where is Keely and the Septic Seven crew, anyway?? Carole

Dave was checking out the fuel prices not to long ago, may come by here. His 28.8 modem is a little slow to make the plunge into the the 'Thief Thread'. It got to deep for Keely too and he is probably tending his sheep. I don't know if Loo Hoo has been released from the hospital. Harleyanna is drafting reconstruction plans. Both GoC and Spidey have warrants out for their arrest because of the "Fury of the Gods" fiasco and are in hiding. And you seem to be doing a supurb job as usual!

Ah, yes...the mutual admiration society...doncha just love it. You are the anchor here, Clint....cb

latest update..

Nation & World
World News
Published Friday
February 21, 2003




KRALENDIJK,Netherlands Antilles (WN)- Federal officials have expanded their investigation of a polluted reef near here to include a search for radioactive contamination and a variety of landfill-related pollutants.
The site is about 2 miles north west of Kralendijk and within two miles of where the Island Utilities District plans on building a new desalination plant. Currently a desalination plant supplies all the potable water for the island, the new plant will supply all of Bonaire's future drinking water needs.
The Antilles Corps of Engineers and the Environmental Protection Agency are conducting the expanded investigation at the former Super Sized Cyber Septic Sucker Plant. Over the last couple months, about 4 square miles of the island has become contaminated by sewage and explosives. The pollution, which resulted from huge explosions at and in the caverns below the facility, has been migrating through the substrata into the reef.
The EPA has expanded the testing for three reasons, said Virga Meryl, remedial site manager. First, the agency recently received specific information from the Flamingo Airport about its disposal of low-level radioactive waste at the site. Second, an old landfill is on the east side of the grounds, the side nearest IUD's planned facility. Thirdly, there has been a series of explosions and fires at the site recently which have released tones of pollutants into the atmosphere.
Because Bonaire hopes to get its water from an unpolluted portion of the reef, Meryl said, it makes sense to determine the extent of any contamination.
This latest news could fuel opposition to IUD's expansion. Opponents have said that the Superfund cleanup has yielded too many surprises and that no one can be sure what might be present.
The Airport Authority and local hospital disposed of low-level radioactive waste at several spots on the grounds until recently. Most of the waste came from medical programs. Meryl said the waste included such things as vials and clothing.
Island officials have told the EPA that they don't think radioactivity is leaking into the groundwater, Meryl said. That's because the material disposed of has a low level of radioactivity and a short half-life. In addition, the island's own water tests have indicated no problems.
Meryl said the airport's information was sketchy enough that the agency felt it needed a better handle on the matter.
The EPA also has decided that it needs a better assessment of the contaminants that could be leaking from the damaged sewer facility and subcyber caverns located underneath, where the most recent explosions have occurred.
The testing will be accelerated because of IUD's project. IUD has been waiting for months for federal officials to decide whether to grant the utility a permit to build its water plant.
Andy Keely of Septic Seven demolition and diving club, project manager for the Corps of Engineers, said results from the new tests should be available in late April or early May.

I'm just happy I get to be an architect this time instead of just a barmaid with, well, you know. I'm smart! I have a brain too!

With what? Cynde has red toes, do you want a cape? You can be the 'Cloaked Crusader'. How's that??

forget the barmaids and the red toes...look what washed up on the beach over at the beach party in the webcam thread

anyway, i can't keep my mind off one very large batter dipped cod sandwich tonite after work...big fries and a picture of beer - yeah slumming it - fish and chips

latest update..
Nation & World
World News
Published Monday
February 24, 2003


Boston-MIT Physicist Robert Farr has advanced an advanced hypothisis on calorie consumtion that may set the diet world into a tailspin. He calls it the Engineers Diet.
"We all know that it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree Celsius." explained Farr.
"Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat."
His paper goes on to advance the principle that as an example, a dessert served and eaten near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg.F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized. Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories. Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat, the better off you are.

He speculates that the process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories.

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer. Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature." he continues. The test results have been really remarkable, and it beats running hands down. Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza, and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream. His final conclusion, "We should all be thin very soon if we adhere religiously to a cold pizza, cold beer, and ice cream diet."

Clint, I guess we had better maintain this type of diet whilst we are still habitating the "hole" in the ground under Jake's place....will keep us all "thinner" and more able to move about the cavernous pit, no? Carole

latest update..
Nation & World
World News
Published Tuesday
February 25, 2003



KRALENDIJK,Netherlands Antilles (WN)- Accompanied by GoC deceased children's television star Sherry Lewis and Lambchops made an appearance to the "Thief Thread" this afternoon, for the 500th entry celebration.
"It is not everyday that a thread can reach this milestone. I would like to thank GoC for inviting Lambchops and me to the celebration."
When ask about why she arrived only in spirit Lewis stated, "I wish that I could be here in person, but, like I'm dead." When ask about how she was dealing with this "Dead" thing, Lewis replied, "You know that it REALLY puts the kibosh on physical travel. Good thing about being dead is that I would have never met GoC or any of the other great Bonaire Cyber Chatter spirits and been invited to this shindig."
Several thousand CCS's including several canaries and a large Grendel joined in the celebration. The festivities are projected to continue throughout the night after someone started a rendition of "The Thread That Never Ends".

latest update..

Nation & World
World News
Published Thursday
February 27, 2003


KRALENDIJK,Netherlands Antilles (WN)- The first man rescued when the Kralendijk Super Sized Cyber Septic System exploded just over a month ago, has become the first to go back down into the hole.
Dave Mindfog returned to the four acre facility outside Kralendijk, Bonaire on Monday, to help in the ongoing rescue operations. Mindfog was trapped last month, in the dark, 4-foot-high tunnels with 77 other sanitary facility workers in a drama that ended triumphantly days later with their rescue. The rescue operations soon after came to a standstill when several after shock explosions transformed the underground passages into a uncharted maze.
Mindfog, a 73 year employee of the septic facility and the guano mines that earlier occupied the site, returned to the caverns to help find any surviving Cyber Sewage Suckers. Eight other rescued facility workers remained above ground - many of them vowing never to return to the caves.
"It's like getting attacked by a shark; you have to go forward," said Mindfog, 95. "You can't keep going over it in your mind or you'll drive yourself crazy."
These days, he is not a divemaster, as he was when the initial explosion occurred. Rather, he is mapping subcyber passages and searching for survivors.
On the night of January 24, Mindfog's crew inadvertently broke through a gobi gas generator filled with millions of gallons of cyber waste. Effluence and gas rushed into their cavern. Over the next three days, the men huddled in a cramped, partially flooded chamber, waiting to be rescued.
Now, it is Mindfog's turn to be the rescuer. Going from one collapsed tunnel to the next, pounding on the cave walls and shouting "It's Dave!" The only response that echoes back has been "Dave's not here!" So he continues to search hoping for just one survivor.

No, it's ME, Dave!! (you had to be there....LOL) Carole

Did I just see Mr. Rogers float by?? Sick, I know....very sick. Sorry folks. CArole

this is worse then voo ja day all over again.

Clint, you are one twisted mo fo.

doing some plume modeling on the septic flow:

I think that the 1/16 flow slope you drafted is a LITTLE steep. What do you plan on doing, turning the sewage facility into a Water Park? May just work! Just think a ride that races through the tunnels, shoots out into the ocean at a depth of 350', then slowly floats to the surface following the reef, while hundreds of robotic fish swim around the capsule...............We may even have to get Disney in on this one. 7 flags across Bonaire, Water World VII! Probably should start looking at a Public Stock Offering. I'm sure there is an Attorney down here in these caves somewhere.

>What do you plan on doing, turning the sewage facility into a Water Park?<

Why no, that was not the plan at all. In fact there was no plan.

Jesus Clint, I thought I was wierd.

WHAT NO PLAN???
We need a plan!
Help, Cynde Bluetang, Harleyanna, ANYONE!! My backup fins for a plan!! Shoot, I'll even throw in an old US Divers snorkel!!


DUH!! Like man, you know, I need like a vacation. Like, in the like Sun! WARM, I need WARM! BEACH, ummm BEACH...

Wierd, whacha talkin about Willis?

Rollll another one....Just like the other one.....you've been hangin' on to it....and I should would like a hit......don't bogart that XXXX my friend, pass it over to me.....cb

Sounds like Carole has a PLAN.....

PLAN "A":
1. Solicit private donations of "disaster relief" money from wealthy folks who don't know what else to do with all their spare money. Describe the cyber-septic burial disaster, mentioning in particular how extensive SCUBA diving will be required as part of the "relief" effort for those "affected" by PBD, BD (bandwidth deficiency) and CCS (community chatitus syndrome). Use Dave's flow diagrams as graphic aids. Say that the amusement park to be built - after the "relief" effort is finished - is "you know, for kids." Close the deal by promising that after they donate the money, they will absolutely not be bothered by countless mailings with pictures of more starving babies alongside more requests for just a little more cash.

2. Use the piles of donated money to travel to Bonaire and dive until the money runs out.

3. Repeat steps 1 and 2.

Me thinks everyone has indulged too much in my "PLAN" and has let the clock tick by here.....tick, tick, tick....25 hours and counting....Huh??? Whaaaat????Bummer. cb

R.I.P....it lived a good life. CArole

WHOW! No, like man, it was a megga plan. Who brought the munchies??

finally a profile pic for wierd clint

here is a link to computer stupidities.
http://rinkworks.com/stupid/

latest update..

Nation & World
World News
Published Tuesday
March 4, 2003

KRALENDIJK,Netherlands Antilles (WN)- Nitroglycerin was found and removed Monday from the future site of Bonaire's future WaterPark and SeaHorse Track.
The discovery presents a possible clue as to what may have gone wrong in the Jan. 23 implosion that leveled the former SuperSizedCyberSepticSewerSystem plant and destroyed nearby homes and businesses.
Virga Meryl, remedial site manager said crews removing rubble from the site near Kralendijk found the nitroglycerin in pillars and footings on the west end of one of the imploded buildings.
Meryl said it was a solid, waxlike form of nitroglycerin that, unlike the highly volatile liquid form, requires an electrical charge or current running through it to set it off. It is sometimes refered to as C4.
"This was some stuff that did not explode when implosion occured," Meryl said. "But the fact that it was there did not really pose a safety hazard. You could throw this stuff up in the air and catch it and it wouldn't be a problem."
Meryl said representatives from explosives company Harleyanna Blasting did not offer an explanation for the undetonated material but removed it Monday.
Meryl said he will forward information about the discovery to Andy Keely of Septic Seven demolition and diving club, project manager for the Corps of Engineers and a consultant hired to investigate what went wrong when the implosion took down the SSCSS plant.
"We'll have him take a look at it, and maybe he'll amend his analysis," Meryl said. "You don't know what explosions did or did not happen until you uncover it all."
Inspector Carol (BoomBoom) Baker, in whose district the area lies, said she was relieved that the explosives apparently didn't pose a significant threat for the public or crews working there.
"But it does make you wonder about the what-ifs and the general sloppiness of the bomber," she said.
Antilles representatives could not be immediately reached for comment.

Found on Page 2:

Carib Picayune
February 33 (a/k/a March 5)

Kingston, Jamaica - Scientists here reported this morning that the entire antillean island of Bonaire, near the coast of Venezuala, disappeared from the planet entirely for a period of nearly six hours earlier this week.

The island's mysterious disappearance, and equally mysterious reappearance, occured on March 2. Apparently the incident began when a woman named Dawn Spencer acutely perceived that Bonaire might not exist. "I felt the panic that if I didn't turn around and head back to Bonaire, it would disappear and I'd never experience such a wonderful trip ever again." Apparently at the same time she formed this fearful thought, the island itself vanished.

Several hours later, as Ms. Spencer began planning for a return trip, the island suddenly returned to existence.

The disappearance was not noticed by authorities at first because Ms. Spencer waited several days to publicly report the event.

A scientist formerly associated with an organization known as AMSTELS, which has conducted other scientific projects concerning Bonaire, offered some preliminary analysis during a press conference. "Apparently this stands as real-world proof of the validity of existential nihilism," He said. "Plus, it was clearly a massive case of chaotic serendipitous thought/reality quantum convergence."

"In short, when Ms. Spencer thought to herself that Bonaire might not exist if she did not go back, well, it actually happened." He continued, "Lucky for us she decided to plan another trip. The moment she believed that the island was still in existence, waiting for her return, it sprang back into being, saving the lives of everyone there."

Early this afternoon representatives from Cancun, the Bahamas, Tahiti and several other popular tropical vacation destinations issued statements that their immigration boards were considering measures that would prevent Ms. Spencer from vacationing at any of their resorts for fear that their existence could be snuffed out, temporarily or otherwise, if she has a good time there before returning home.

An undisclosed source has also said that BONHATA is considering giving away lead-lined straw hats as parting souvenir gifts to prevent any further mishaps.

latest update..

Nation & World
World News
Published Thursday
March 6, 2003

KRALENDIJK,Netherlands Antilles (WN)- Pro-WaterPark and Fishhorse racing forces in the Bonaire Legislature are five votes short of victory.
Five votes. On a controversial issue, that's a chasm, not a gap.
"I have a good feeling about this," said Lief S. Lazarus of paid lobbyist from Texas, who opposes expanded entertainment.
Lawmakers on Wednesday advanced a proposal to the second round of debate that will allow for a five slide WaterPark and a nine lane Fishhorse track on a 25-19 vote - the minimum needed to advance.
If the proposal gets to the third and final round, it would take 30 votes to place Legislative Resolution 11CA on the election ballot.
As amended, the measure would ask voters to allow a waterpark and seahorse track to be built on the site of a recently destroyed Super Sized Cyber Septic System (SSCSS) plant on Bonaire's leeward side.
It will be about two weeks before LR 11CA comes up for the next round of debate, said Speaker of the Legislature Curt Bromm of Hato.
In the interim, pro-park supporters will be working to find the five additional votes.
Likely targets for persuasion will be those who have expressed support for putting something on the ballot but do not like the current proposal.
Others remain undecided. Sen. Berry Cecil of Raymond did not cast a vote Wednesday, saying he remains on the fence.
"I don't know yet where I stand," Cecil said. "I have traditionally been opposed to Seahorse racing, but I believe we have been sent a message with the petition."
He was referring to the petition drive to legalize WaterSlides and Fish-horse racing that is now before the Antilles Supreme Court.
Besides wooing five more lawmakers, gaming supporters must be careful not to lose any current support.
If they reduced the number of races, they risk losing some outisland lawmakers who want to ensure the value of their racing fish.
"We'll have to find a way to get those five votes without alienating five we have," said Sen. Wallyeva of Blackshear.
Waterslide supporters also will be fighting a lobbying group led by Lief S. Lazarus who are opposed to anything that may keep visitors to Bonaire from spending their money diving.
Those groups do want the local dive shops to have complete control of all island entertainment.
"We want people to have the choice of diving or not. We want local communities to be able to decide what kind of entertainment they want," said William Rathborne, lobbyist for Coalition for Open Entertainment, a group that includes several theme park interests.
Many lawmakers say something should be done this year, or special interests will place something on the 2004 ballot. Others think it is simply wrong to expand into water and theme parks.
"The people that frequent that place up there (Disney World) are probably the most able to afford spending money on dive gear. They should be learning to dive." said Cynde Lu Hoo chairman of AMSTELS Bonaire.
"I may be a little old church lady who stands opposed to excessive excitement, but I won't be changed," she continued.
"I'm willing to wait and see what the court decision is. If we have to react to that next year, we can," Cecil said.

latest update..

Nation & World
World News
Published Monday
March 10, 2003


NEW YORK (NW) - As any young male can tell you, hormones are a phenomenal force. They can run strong enough to sway one off course, obscure all reality and cause a fairly eloquent speaker to become a twittering incoherent mess.
And the soft form of a curvaceous rear end, apparently, can inflame hormones.
At least that's what Robert Neer of Rump Works is finding. The Hillard, Ohio, resident has devoted the past two years to developing an inflatable protrusion that hooks on a person’s posterior and can also improve the aerodynamics.
Whether the modestly named "boat-tail" design will ever make it onto a Paris model is still to be seen, although preliminary tests show it can reduce meal consumption by about 4 percent - as much as a $1,500 annual savings in food for one model.
But it's one of many ways that clothing manufacturers and companies try to turn their hulking stage walkers into lithe vehicles that can cut drag, improve fuel efficiency and ultimately boost the bottom line.
"Basically, the need for aerodynamic models is money," said Lief Lazarus, assistant chief designer for Skimp and Skinny, a Houston, Texas-based clothing manufacturer and a division of Shellies Secret Inc. Skimp and Skinny tested the boat tail on models at two stage walks in 2001 and 2002.
"Our customers are trying to deliver products that you and I use at the lowest cost . . . and diet is a big part of that cost."
And with food prices increasing in recent weeks, the clamor for ways to cut down food consumption is quickly getting louder, he said.
About two-thirds of the energy consumed by a model on a modeling walk is simply to cut through the air, according to Neer.
Pushing aerodynamic design is not as easy as it might seem. Skimp and Skinny, which introduced in 1985 an aerodynamic bra called the Lazarus T600A, endured harsh ribbing from those who disliked the look of the cups, which are topped by a sloping crown.
Just wait till those critiques meet Rump Works' boat tail, optimistically described as "half an egg that is tapering."
Neer, whose background is in building sails for sailboats, recalled walking behind a curvaceous model more than a decade ago and watching as guy’s jaws dropped as she passed.
It made more sense to him for models to try to copy nature in their form, he said. "A fish doesn't have a square back end - it has a torpedo end," Neer said.
The boat-tail concept has been around for years. Some models already have attached boat tails made of fiberglass, Neer said, but those sometimes block access to toilets. Neer chose the heavy-duty material similar to that used in manufacturing Zodiac inflatable boats.
Initially, the deflated boat tail is attached to the rear of the model and resembles two parachutes hanging down. The parachutes are partially inflated and attached to one another with hook-and-eye buckles. Then they are fully inflated.
The contraption covers the lower back of the model - about 81/2 inches tall, 121/2 inches wide and 6 inches deep.
Despite the food savings, there are drawbacks, said Carole Baker, a fuel efficiency expert and a lingerie model. The time to deflate and inflate the boat tail at each change could be annoying and costly for models, who make multiple runs and are racing to meet walk schedules. And fastening the boat tail to the posterior in the first place can be a complicated hours-long process, said Cynde Lu Hoo, Neer’s senior project engineer for aerodynamics.
Neer is currently in talks with modeling companies to test the boat tail on several models in their agencies, he said.
But if the fuel savings hold up, the boat tail might find some takers - funky look and all.
"It's the bottom line," Neer said.

failed to mention that we hired j. lo as a consultant;)

Only the prototype of the T600A had "harsh ribbing". The production version used space-age super-flexible polymeric plastics to provide maximum comfort without compromising the rigidity needed to maintain the perfect form. Production was halted only after some models reported adverse reactions and reduced visibility when the device was worn over large quantities of silicone.

Thanks for the update. I didn't realize there was a safety issue with the t600a's. Was the problem caught before it got released to the public or was there a recall?

Sorry it took so long to get back to you on this, I had to search through the archives (actually, rummage through a pile of trash paper is more apt).

But I finally found the information you requested. Here is an editorial clipping from the fashion industry daily "RUNWAY GAZETTE"

------------------
Printed 9/31/00

Dear RG,
I am chagrined at the gross injustice that you have allowed by failing to provide any coverage concerning the recent Italian Dress Industry Oversight & Testing Secretary's probe into the sudden increase in injuries among mass merchandise fashion models.

Unlike the much-ballyhooed Paris and Milan fashion runways, staffed by ultra-sleek and often one-named supermodels, the models working in what is called the "low-end" of the trade get little or no glory and a lot less pay, and thus they can ill-afford the professional dieticians, personal trainers and consulting plastic surgeons necessary to maintain top-of-the-line fashion models. It is like comparing the maintenance crew of a Formula One racing team with the lone mechanic that keeps an amateur dirt-track sprint car running.

However, the models working for mass merchandise fashion designers have no less a responsibility. Indeed, the clothes they wear on the runway are ultimately worn by thousands - sometimes millions - of people, while the clothes advertised by the A-list of the industry are often one-offs or, at best, prototypes for "pret-a-porte" lines that are so expensive that only the wealthiest of clothes hounds can afford to acquire them. This class disparity allows the models of common, everyday clothes to be victimized by seemingly well-intentioned purveyours of the most scoundrelous kind. The need for efficiency on the runway is just as great, but the means for these models is much more limited, so they often must resort to so-called "wonders" that are often nothing but cheap, and sometimes dangerous quick-fixes.

Most recently, a new bra was marketed as a low-cost aerodynamic enhancement for runway models. This "T600A" was soon shown to be both a torture device and a health hazard. Some of the incidents that your reporters simply ignored: Kelly von van der Vort was modeling a new line of German full-coverage swimsuits when her T600A unfastened, giving her a serious whiplash injury when her busom sprang up into her chin. Meryl Virgstaffenfrack, once admired as the premier model of cost-effective career-woman clothes, suffered a career-ending injury when friction build-up under her T600A welded her breasts together during a runway walk of a low-priced conservative business suit. Veteran low-price clothes model Gertrude Frankelstein lost her job after running off of a crowded fashion runway when her T600A failed, causing the Wal-Mart novelty T-Shirt she was wearing to look like it had a picture of a horse-racing jocky on it instead of the NBA basketball star that it was supposed to display.

It was only last week that the IDIOTS findings were made official and the T600A was banned. Perhaps if more attention had been paid to the less glamourous end of our industry, many of these tragedies could have been avoided.

- Otto T.S.
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here is an interesting clip on a simular subject.