How is everyone doing this fine Tuesday morning?
Any big plans for the day?

Something to make you smile.

A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.
On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone - "Get me a coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"

"No," replied the trainee.
"It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"

The trainee shouts back, "And do YOU know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!"
"No." replied the CEO indignantly.

"Good!" replied the trainee, and puts down the phone.

Jerry...LOL! Thanks for the chuckle Reminds me of a situation a few years ago when a coworker accidentally sent an email to our boss, when he/she meant to send it to me...it was complaining about the boss. He/she quickly ran into my office asking how to recall a message. So, I distracted the boss while she ran into his office and deleted the email...I still chuckle over that one.

Or (which I have done)...sent an email to someone mistakenly...that was not meant for them to see

Nothing exciting going on around here...getting ready to go to the derm and have a cancer spot excized (whoohooo) and then to work (woohooo) lol!

Wow, Cynde you do know how to have a good time. Maybe you could schedule a root canal for the afternoon to complete your day.

Cecil, good idea! Calling the dentist now! LOL! BTW, tell Sue congrats on her 50th b-day present...you are a GOOD hubby

Just got back from doctors this morning. Vertigo is gone now, thank goodness and I talked to my dad at the hospital. He did not have a heart attack, but was very close to it, got him there in time, on meds, blood pressure going down and he is still going through tests to see if it effected his heart. So, good news on all that.

Jerry, good joke! I needed to laugh today.

Debbie great news. Keep an eye on that vertigo, my uncle developed vertigo problems and he was flat on his back for quite a few years before it was resolved. They could never figure out what his problem was, which made curing it, all the more difficult.

Congrats on your good new, Debbie.

Linda R

Below are some actual quotes by doctors doing actual dictation on patients' records (with some comments by me). Could YOUR doctor sound like these? This is really scary! If I have to go to the emergency room and hear my doctor dictating like some of these, I'm going to RUN!!!

The patient denies pregnancy. (And I certainly think he should.)

She does a lot of work around the house. It is kind of localized in the left buttock area.

He was not to lift or drive his car.

For the last 48 hours, the patient was carrying a refrigerator up the stairs. (L-O-O-ONG stairs.)

An ultrasound was ordered on admission of the left foot. (and the patient came back to visit his foot almost evey day.)

Father is currently deceased. (So he may come back???)

She is a small-appearing elderly female. (She only appears small; she's actually 6 foot 2.)

The patient has no temperature today. (Really?? The planet Pluto has a temperature!)

The patient has a questionable cousin with colitis. (Yeah, I have a questionable cousin, too.)

She slid on some oil and her feet flew out from under her, landing on her left arm and back. (Try to picture that!)

She was a restrained driver in the back seat.

The bulldog clamp was removed from the mammary artery and allowed to run for about a minute. (Very active clamp!)

The patient is confused, but the family states that she has been intermittently confused for some time and particularly about...she has been intermittently, intermittently been increasingly confused over the last 3 months. (WHO is confused??)

Excess debris was removed. (And the necessary debris remained.)

He feels just as tired when he goes to bed as when he gets up in the morning.

She complains of no hearing loss. (Well, I don't mind not having a hearing loss.)

(Mothers, you will love this one.) The patient takes care of four children, does not work.

He has one brother and two half-female siblings.

Oops, that's supposed to be good news, not good new.

L

Cecil, I was just a my regular MD today for a follow up on the vertigo. I ended up in the ER when it started on Saturday. I feel better now, but was a bit frustrated as none of the doctors know what caused it! I have never had it, but they claim it to be quite common, really stange and scary. I plan on keeping the meds with me when I travel or just with me for anytime it may decide to rear it's ugly self again. Some folks have only gotten it once and never again. I hope I am one of those. I feel for your uncle. The meds at least enabled me to be able to walk around, made me tired, not able to drive, but it was better than spinning and spinning out of control in my head!

Debbie - so happy to hear your vertigo is gone - do you still have to stay on med's? And very happy to hear about your Dad.

Jerry - good ones - I really like the additions to the doctors quotes.

A while ago I thought I was IM-ing my hub at lunchtime. Started out with "Are you there Honey Bunny?" The IM went to my boss (who's in the next room) He yelled out - are you talking to me? No - oops. (Laughing hysterically). Mind you I don't get along with my boss nor do I like him. It's a good thing I didn't babble on & on like I usually do! Or call him bad names

Hello, everyone. So glad to be back from vacation. I missed "talking" with everyone daily. Glad your vertigo is improving, Debbie. Watch out for those patches, though. They can be addicting. Had a friend who had a heck of time getting off them!

Thanks for the laughs, Jerry! Stressful here at work since I got back so I can really use it!

At least the coworker didn't e-mail everyone in the entire company an intimate e-mail he was sending to his girlfriend like the guy at a company where I used to work. Talk about embarrassing! I use that example when talking to classes about e-mail etiquette.

Hi Judy, Nope, no meds today for the first day. Doc said to just keep aware of any dizziness for the rest of the week as it is still there, but on its way out. I am keeping them near, just in case.

Christine, what do you mean about "patches"? You lost me on that one. Do you mean the meds? The meds I have is some kind of strong antihistimine that equalized my inner ear to almost normal.

Jerry, thank you so much for the laughs, they were much needed! Debbie, hope your Vertigo stays away. Had a very short bout of it once while in Bonaire, very scary!

My sweet little wife.

Judy...LOL! oh MY! I can just imagine!

Christine, I am very careful when I email things...after emailing a response to someone (and it was the wrong person) years ago. I think it's easy to do because we are in such a rush sometimes.

Debbie, glad you are better.

5 Secrets To Success Regarding Women
1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.

4. It’s important to have a woman who is great in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It’s very, very important that these four women don’t know each other

Good Lawyer Joke
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver’s door. Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. “I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,” he said. “You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.”

“How can you say such a thing?” asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, “Don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing?

It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!”

“OH, MY GOD!” screamed the lawyer.

“MY ROLEX!”

I've experienced vertigo a few times. It happens while ascending if one ear clears and the other does not (reverse block). It is the weirdest feeling all of a sudden the world is spinning, I call it instant sea sickness. With a reverse block it clears as quickly as it occurs, which can not be quick enough.

Debbie lets hope you are a one timer.



Doctor to elderly patient. I have some bad news you have cancer and Alzheimer's.

Patient, Thanks god I do not have cancer.


Doctor to patient, I have some bad news and some worse news.

Patient, OK give me the bad news.

Doctor, you have 24 hours to live.

Patient, what could be worse than that.

Doctor, I should have called you yesterday.

Jerry, Cecil and all:

THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING ME LAUGH!

MUCH APPRECIATED!!!

Cecil, I don't even want to think about getting that feeling down under!!!!

Judy, that is too funny! lol I feel for you!
Deb, hope it's all gone. Heck, I get vertigo sitting in a drive thru car wash! blech

Jerry, exactly what meds do you take? lol FULL MOON warning to you!

Great jokes , sure loved to read them this time of the day , well anytime actually.

Debbie , Vertigo ??? Must be like walking the highwire after just one to many beers!


Sjosss

Debbie, there is a patch containing an anti-nauseau drug or something that was often prescribed for severe cases of vertigo that just wouldn't go away. Not sure if it contained an antihistamine. The med is fairly addictive apparently so perhaps they have quit prescribing it.

I'm not crazy....really! ;-)

Ohhh... I get it now! Nope, didn't have that. The nauseau stuff had to be put in an IV to me as nothing would stay down, then after that, I was able to take the dizzy pills as they come only in pill form. You would think that with all this modern technology, they could figure a way to make that pill be liquid and then I could have had instant relief! You know, a shot in the butt, and that would be that! LOL!